Thursday, November 16, 2006

Over Active & Randy Blokes

Reading UZO and Pilgrimage to Self's posts on the numerous items in their handbags made me look into mine with a view to removing some unnecessary items and lightening its load. It’s a red number I got from Finsbury Park for £20.

Contents of my handbag:

  • Rubber Bands, 5 Pens - 3 Black Pens, 1 blue, 1 red – always pays to have loads in case u loose any.
  • 2 Address Books (They double as my fone books where I copy all the numbers I have on my mobile as back up in case my mobile goes missing)
  • An envelope containing 2 souvenir notebooks & a drawing book from my nieces birthday. I’m supposed to have delivered these to her grandma 3 months ago. (I keep planning to drop by there each time I go out)
  • Leaflet from last Sunday’s church service; A pack of paper handkerchiefs; Bank Mini Statements;
  • Paper Bag - Handy if I'm popping into Aldi or Lidl;
  • Tube and Bus Guides I pick up from LU stations which I think could come in handy one day;
  • CD containing pictures of my cousin’s daughter (I’ve been planning to drop by the photoshop and order some prints so I can send them to her grandmma)
  • Nourishing Lip Treatment, Lip Gloss; Passport Pictures of Me – you never know when they’ll come in handy;
  • Newspaper cutting of Alton Towers & Mme Tussards 2 for 1 voucher - I love free things;
  • Printout of Steet Map to Old Billingsgate for the Graduate Fair I attended 3 weeks ago!! What is it still doing in my bag?
  • Complimentary Cards of various Recruitment Agencies; Printout of money I sent to my sister - got to keep it handy until she confirms she's received the money;
  • Digital Camera – I could make that award winning snap of a celebrity in an awkward position that will fetch me loads of £££;
  • Aloe Vera Hand Cream, Cerruti 1881 Hand Cream;
  • More TFL tube and bus maps – South East London and Central London bus guide;
  • Chewing Gum; Vaseline Pocket Sized Lip Therapy; Random post it notes; Stick on glue; Old Sales Receipts from Tesco;
  • Wallet; Umbrella - needy for unpredictable weather; More post it notes with mobile numbers scribbled on it;
  • Hubby’s complimentary cards perched precariously in the little side pocket; Eye Pencil.

Wheew!! Thats All. Not a lot is it? Each item seems ablsolutely essential to me. What do I throw out?

***********************************************
A mobile number written on one of the Post It notes catches my eye. That I am definetely throwing out! It was a skirt chasing bloke at London Bridge that gave me his number last week on my way from my botched attempt to attend a Legal Recruitment Fair. I took the train from Charring Cross to London Bridge. As I was waiting at London Bridge trying to figure out the platform for the Woolwich train, this guy wearing a brown Faux Fur leather jacket walks past me carrying a shopping bag and says: “You OK?” I look up a little bit startled and nod assent.

The Public Address System says the Woolich Train will depart from Platform 4 and so I head to Platorm 4. Bloke follows me to the platform and this conversation takes place between us:

BLOKE: Hi, Saw you looking at the Time are you lost?
ME: No, was trying to find out what time and platform my train will
arrive.
BLOKE: Oh ok. Where are you going to?
ME: Woolwich.
BLOKE: OH! I’m going to Charlton myself. Went to do some shopping with my friend. (Cue Friend comes over, gets introduced and makes himself scarce)
BLOKE: We parked at Charlton and took the train into the city. You could come with us to Charlton and we’ll drop you off at Woolwich.
ME: No, Thank You. Woolwich is the next stop. I’ll stay on the train and get off there.
BLOKE: Do you work around there?
ME: NO.

BLOKE: Where do you work? (I pretend I didnt hear that. This one don pass inquisition for a stranger you just met on a train platform)
BLOKE: Are your relatives here in London?

ME: I mumble a YES.

BLOKE: I thought you said your relatives arent here in London. (What has this got to do with the price of rice?)

ME:No, most of them are in Naija but I live in North London with my husband.
BLOKE: You’re joking!
NO: I’m not. See!! (I show him my my engagement ring and wedding band with glee)
BLOKE: Wearing rings dosent matter some girls wear them just to camoflauge.
ME: Well, I’m not camoflauging, I’m married.
BLOKE: Where did you get married? Here or in Naija?
ME: In my heart I'm like - does it really matter? I reply: Here.
BLOKE: How long have you been married?
ME: Three Years (No need telling him I'm a new bride. Does it matter how long I've been married? I'm married. End Of!)
BLOKE: Where do you work?
ME: I’m thinking in my heart this is an inquisition too much for someone you have just bumped into at a railway station!! Why do you ask? What’s that got to do with you?
BLOKE: Can I have ur number? Brings out his mobile - a Nokia Camera Phone.
ME: I give him a fake number. He starts to dial the number I've given him so his Caller ID will reflect on mine & I quickly tell him that my mobile isn’t with me. Its at home.
BLOKE: Ok. Take my number: 07984649287 – 'Segun', 'Prince Segun'.
BLOKE: You have the kind of Physique I like.
ME: Excuse Me? What do you mean? Are you collecting girls’ physique to use in cooking soup or something?
BLOKE: NO I mean I like ur physique – Its very nice. You never know where the relationship will go.
ME: Excuse Me? There will not be any relationship that’s going anywhere. (My mobile rings)
BLOKE: I thought you said you didn’t have ur mobile with you?
I move away to answer my call and the train pulls into the station. BLOKE motions for me to join him in the next carriage and I purposefully ignore him and move to another carriage.

The Randy Idiot!! Physique Ko, Physique Ni. He really has no morals. I think its just me being too polite to tell such idiots to buzz off or be plain rude to them. Propositioning ladies up and down trying to pick up anything in skirts wherever he can - Married or Single anything goes. If he’s not careful, a wife, scorned girlfriend or maybe an angry husband may perform a BOBBITTon him putting an end to his randy overtures since he does not really care whether they come married or not. I have heard some rumours that London Guys prefer their ladies married – that way, there’ll be no strings attached to the relationship. So ‘Prince Segun’ - You've been Named and Shamed!!!

39 comments:

  1. Lol! nice one girl. These guys have no shame at all...... during my pregnancy there was this freak (nigerian) who always stalked me while i was taking a walk(let's just say i decided it was best i stayed indoors).

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  2. Is that a travelling bag or handbag?

    Some just lack self-control.

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  3. LOL at this post! I wrote a post too about the random stuff I was carrying about in my too-heavy bag. Turns out it's not just me! Calabar girl, you could really be my twin sister.

    LMAO at the 'Prince Segun' guy. After I got married, a friend told me that I would now be attractive to certain types of guys who specialise in hunting for married ladies. And it's very true. Apparently it's the thrill of snatching you away from hubby. The wedding band doesn't scare them off. If anything it seems to attract them. Maybe I will blog about two of my recent encounters with some crazy guys soon.

    (Oh I've changed my blog addy. It's now http://keepdiscoveringmyself.blogspot.com )

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  4. Do you remember that game show Let's Make a Deal? At the end the host would ask people for crazy items from their wallets or purses. You surely would have had whatever he asked for :)

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  5. **Pictures of Me – you never know when they’ll come in handy;


    LOL cute!


    Keshi.

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  6. What a funny guy :D.

    I don't think a bobbit is what he needs.

    He needs a Zidouken.

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  7. LOL. Okay i concede. You are worse than i am in the handbag department. But everything in there seems essential so i cant help you figure out what to throw out.

    What a shameless shameless man. LOL. Oloshi, alakori....

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  8. What is wrong with a prince that fancies you now? I don't like it o. meanwhile u sure say that one na just ordinary hand bag??

    Lost my Blog. This is the new addy.
    Temmy

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  9. CB, your bag is bottomless like Mary Poppins' right? That can be the only explanation for all those items!

    As for 'Prince' Segun, I have encountered a pant like that b4! He was Prince Ayo, or some razz nonsense like that and he wrote down his details on a piece of paper and left them by the keyboard I was using (I WAS AT THE INTERNET CAFE)... infact I will blog about it someday.

    Enjoy your weekend :-)

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  10. Hahahaha...this is funny but why did you give him audience at all. Immediately he started asking about your family you should have known where he is headed. As for me, I will totally ignore him after that.

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  11. LOL at the LU tube maps...i have a couple myself..matter of fact,in every trouser and jacket of mine,there is a tube map!!Shame on prince segun for hitting on a married woman(U married?),come to think of it..i know a segun myself(he didnt hit on me though)..keep them posts coming

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  12. I think you must be pulling an Echolac around with you and calling it a handbag. Dat is a lotttt of stuff, gal!

    As 4 Prince Segun, he reminds me of some1 I know. But lemme shut up; you know I'm using my real name and last name - therefore d things I can talk about r rather limited *sigh*

    What if Prince Segun is one of ur blog pals? Personally, I think it's NaijaBloke. Yes, I know he's not in UK, but maybe he teleported. Well, that's my story & I'm stickin 2 it.

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  13. lmao.. the guy is serious oh... but I think he didnt believe you especialy when there's gurls like me lyin our asses off.. i mean sometimes i meet some guys(ESP NAIJA AND AFRICAN GUYS).. when they try to talk to u and/or get your number and you tell them you're not interested or give em sum polite excuse.... THEY DON"T LISTEN>> SO MY NEW THING WAS TO TELL DUDES I"M MARRIED>.. lol... and i usualy wear huge cocktail rings so thats my marriage ring.. when they ask me how cum its so big.. i say because my husband wants every guy in 100 miles to know i'm HIS.. lol.. In spite of that.. guess what their next line usually is... That a gorgeous girl like me i don't need to be married at this age.. but no problem they can take care of me even more/better than my husband... imagine the rubbish!!! LIke seriously... if i'm married.. u want me 2 cheat on my husband... so then wat are me and u gonna have?!?!? where are your morals?!?!?

    dang babe@ur purse.. and i thought i was terrible!!! have a great weekend luv and say us hi 2 ur husband

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  14. LOL! Don't you just hate it when you lie about your phone and the damn thing decides there and then to ring? I've been in that situation a couple times....I normally just act surprised and think up a lie.
    Nice post though, I like that way you put his whole numbe on display...still cracking up

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  15. Girl, l can just imagine. That's why we ladies are complicated beings.lol..anyways, u forgot to add kotex or sanitory pad just incase. lol. What about your condom just incase.lol

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  16. Hahahaha ..na wah o ..the married part apparently skidded past the guys brain when u said it ...LOL

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  17. I just got the part now of ur phone ringing when you said you did not have ur phone with ya. That's funny. I can imagine. NExt time, this is the easiest thing to do, give him the name of a department store or grocery store /piazza store and the silly guy would call there.lol. If he asks ya, say you are not working there now but you be ther e later..lol.

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  18. lol@ the content of ur bag. exactly how big is ur bag(cld probably double as a travelling bag.
    did u put up "prince segun" mobile number so that his wife or mayb the numerous babes he chases after can identify him(lol)???all these randy men and he may very well be marreid too.

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  19. lmao@ 'do u take girl's physique and use in cooking' thats just mad funy...silly guy still trying to get ur number after u told him u were married some guys are just impossible.

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  20. LOL - Prince Segun from Charlton - OK I'll inform my girl down that end - what stupendous nonsence - idiot - hisss - Imagin the state of him - but you bag content is too funny -

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  21. I sooo would have run a mile. Or you could've just hit him with your handbag... sounds like it's v. heavy. I never have that problem, I can never decide which bag to carry with me (I say that like its a good thing, but it isn't, i'm always forgetting something or other)

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  23. LOL, that was sooooooo funny. I never speak to guys that approach me, just one of my weird rules. One guy chased me out of a tube station after I ignored his greeting, and when he caught up with me said, "can't we be mature about these things". These people are just tooo funny
    As for the contents of your bag, I would laugh, but then hpypocricy would come and punch me in the face. Great post......

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  24. I can't remember what it is now, but there was a mobile number I saw somewhere for people just like that. Basically if someone wants your number and you don't want to give it to him, then you could give him that number, and it was a voicemail that just insulted and insulted and insulted the guy. It went on for about 10 minutes. I really wish I had to number now, because it was really mad funny, and I think every girl should have it !!

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  25. lol!! first of all how on earth do you manage to find anything in your (hand)bag???
    'prince segun' indeed. na who dash am 'prince' title? have been in similar situations before too; which girl hasn't? actually you've given me an idea for a post... will put it up sometime this week.

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  26. lol about the prince!
    have a great week!~

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  27. @funmi: Yeye men!! A friend of mine got 'toasted' when she was very heavy with her baby. The guy said he didnt mind.

    @ anthony: LOL Its not a travelling bag oh. Just a handbag with several essential items.

    @TP: Silly MEn!! The wedding band seems to be an attracting factor for them. They no longer have eyes for single girls anymore.

    @Barb: No I havent heard of Lets make a Deal before. But there's a gameshow makeing the waves in UK right now - Deal or no Deal.

    @keshi: (smile) They are actually passport sized pictures I carry about. You know some agencies request for them when registering for PT work.

    @azuka: well. I still think he'll need a bobbitt eventually. Zidouken wears out and is forgotten about after sometime.

    @Uzo: Exactly!! They all seem so essential. If you take out the umbrella, it could decide to rain that day.

    @Temmy:Such princes are fake!! If everyone claims to be from a royal family and is a prince or princess, then who are the commoners? You didnt give me ur new address. What happened?

    @Lonson Buki: You know there was a programme on BBC Breakfast News this morning about the stuff ladies carry about & that Mary Pooins comment was made also. The ladies that unveiled the stuff in their bags had shoes, change of clothing. In fact my bag pales in comparism to theirs!! (smile)

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  28. @desola: I knew where he was headed. Sometimes I cant help but let them sweat and make a fool of themselves.

    @joshi: Tube map in every trouser? LOL That beats my having lip gloss in every handbag!! The thing is they do come in handy.

    @Vera:LOL at me carrying an echolac around. Its good to name & shame that nonsense Segun. (I refuse to call him prince - Prince Ko, Commoner Ni) Next time he hits on a lady, he'll be wary incase she has a blog and decides to name & shame him also.

    @OWNB: Yes oh!! It seems their morals are 'Gone with the Wind'

    @RJ: The stupid mobile decided to embarass me. But at least I hope he got the message I wasnt interested in 'Royalty'.

    @yankeenaijachick: You know those are items I have never carried about in my bag. Maybe I should add them........? LOL

    @Naija Bloke: The guy did not just want to know oh!! Maybe he prefers them married......

    @Angie: Yes oh! That was the intention!! So anyone who knows him will let him know he's been named and shames. God help him if he's marrried and his wife visits this page too......... LOL

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  29. @Life through rose tinted glasses: Silly Guy!! I actually said 'Excuse Me?' and he repeated the statement! That was when I asked him if he was collecting the 'physique' to cook soup and he proceeded to explain himself. Like my College Art Teacher would say: I D I O T!!

    @Life of a stranger called me: My bag contents funny? U should have seen the ladies on Breakfast TV today who decided to unveil the contents of their own bag - pair of shoes, diary,house keys, magazine, novel, change of clothes, mine paled in comparism to theirs.

    @sherrynkb: To solve th eproblem of what handbag to carry, I make sure essential items are kept permanenetly in each handbag so I dont have to move things from one bag to another.

    @dilch: I should try that 'ignoring them' rule next time. I hope there isnt a next time!! LOL at hypocrisy hitting u in the face. You know I was looking at the sizes of ladies handbags today. They are all so big!! No one seems to be carrying miniscule bags anymore!

    @boso:Hmmn, that number would be a very good idea. Wonder if I search the net, I could find it?

    @beautifully human: My handbag is well partitioned so I know where each item is stationed and can find it easily when I need anything. LOL The 'prince segun' of this world are plenty!! Pls put up ur post. Looking forward to reading all about ur own encounter too.

    @bella naija: Thanks Love! You have a great week too!!

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  30. Wow-that sure is a lot in one bag!!!

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  31. the content of your bag is nothing compared to mine..do you know i have extra pair of shoes in my bag...my handbag is so big i can put a 7yr old in it..
    nw abt Prince Segun(lol) prince ko!i mean some guys are even more excited when the see the wedding band..creeps!

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  32. I'm late as usual.
    That your bag na Ghana must go walahi.

    If you haul all that stuff around town i wonder what your luggage looks like when your travelling? lol

    As for the Prince Segun, Unfortunately the reason guys like that still prey on Married women is that for every woman that says no, there are 2 Women who will eventually fall for them.
    Something is seriously wrong with the world.

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  33. another late one - very funny post. Put a smile on my face. Did he actually say he was a Prince?

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  34. This is the new blog addy o.
    Blow kisses to Azuka for me. He was really helpful.

    Temmy

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  35. @butterfly girl: A lot you say? There are still a lot of 'essential items' that could be added to the collection already in my bag. (smile)

    @3gbosa: Pair of shoes!! Hmmmn so you're one of them too. LOL

    @BabaAlaye: LOL at my Ghana Must Go. Trvelling is another matter entirely. I always had excess luggage in my single days. Now hubby wont hear of it. He flings items out of our luggage to keep in line with the required 'KG'.

    @Aba boy:Yes Oh!! He did. He thinks that when he says he's a 'prince' that we females will fall over ourselves to get to know him.

    @Temmy: Yes Oh!! Azuka is a real gem. He is really performing diligently as our 'BLOG GYNACOLOGIST' (according to vera) LOL

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  36. Funny entry! Your bag is sure a big one but not big enough to accomodate a 7yr old kid.lol

    Oh, your blog has made my day, Calabargal. I could not help but laugh out loud at the instance of coments on this page.

    Oh well, boys will always be boys. The exuberant Prince is not aware that rules have changed. Good luck to him.

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  37. @Vera: Yes maam!! I will. Its been quite hectic for me these past few days and I must admit its getting hard keeping up!! For ur information, I logged on purposely to update!! (smile)

    @Joel: Yeye Prince!! HE really has to reenlighten himself about the rules.

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  38. CalabarGal, I have tried to be patient oh! I have come EVERYDAY looking for an update... WHERE IS IT?

    Take care of yourself...

    Enjoy the rest of your week :-)

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