Reading UZO and Pilgrimage to Self's posts on the numerous items in their handbags made me look into mine with a view to removing some unnecessary items and lightening its load. It’s a red number I got from Finsbury Park for £20.Contents of my handbag:
- Rubber Bands, 5 Pens - 3 Black Pens, 1 blue, 1 red – always pays to have loads in case u loose any.
- 2 Address Books (They double as my fone books where I copy all the numbers I have on my mobile as back up in case my mobile goes missing)
- An envelope containing 2 souvenir notebooks & a drawing book from my nieces birthday. I’m supposed to have delivered these to her grandma 3 months ago. (I keep planning to drop by there each time I go out)
- Leaflet from last Sunday’s church service; A pack of paper handkerchiefs; Bank Mini Statements;
- Paper Bag - Handy if I'm popping into Aldi or Lidl;
- Tube and Bus Guides I pick up from LU stations which I think could come in handy one day;
- CD containing pictures of my cousin’s daughter (I’ve been planning to drop by the photoshop and order some prints so I can send them to her grandmma)
- Nourishing Lip Treatment, Lip Gloss; Passport Pictures of Me – you never know when they’ll come in handy;
- Newspaper cutting of Alton Towers & Mme Tussards 2 for 1 voucher - I love free things;
- Printout of Steet Map to Old Billingsgate for the Graduate Fair I attended 3 weeks ago!! What is it still doing in my bag?
- Complimentary Cards of various Recruitment Agencies; Printout of money I sent to my sister - got to keep it handy until she confirms she's received the money;
- Digital Camera – I could make that award winning snap of a celebrity in an awkward position that will fetch me loads of £££;
- Aloe Vera Hand Cream, Cerruti 1881 Hand Cream;
- More TFL tube and bus maps – South East London and Central London bus guide;
- Chewing Gum; Vaseline Pocket Sized Lip Therapy; Random post it notes; Stick on glue; Old Sales Receipts from Tesco;
- Wallet; Umbrella - needy for unpredictable weather; More post it notes with mobile numbers scribbled on it;
- Hubby’s complimentary cards perched precariously in the little side pocket; Eye Pencil.
Wheew!! Thats All. Not a lot is it? Each item seems ablsolutely essential to me. What do I throw out?
A mobile number written on one of the Post It notes catches my eye. That I am definetely throwing out! It was a skirt chasing bloke at London Bridge that gave me his number last week on my way from my botched attempt to attend a Legal Recruitment Fair. I took the train from Charring Cross to London Bridge. As I was waiting at London Bridge trying to figure out the platform for the Woolwich train, this guy wearing a brown Faux Fur leather jacket walks past me carrying a shopping bag and says: “You OK?” I look up a little bit startled and nod assent.
The Public Address System says the Woolich Train will depart from Platform 4 and so I head to Platorm 4. Bloke follows me to the platform and this conversation takes place between us:
BLOKE: Hi, Saw you looking at the Time are you lost?
ME: No, was trying to find out what time and platform my train will arrive.
BLOKE: Oh ok. Where are you going to?
BLOKE: OH! I’m going to Charlton myself. Went to do some shopping with my friend. (Cue Friend comes over, gets introduced and makes himself scarce)
BLOKE: We parked at Charlton and took the train into the city. You could come with us to Charlton and we’ll drop you off at Woolwich.
ME: No, Thank You. Woolwich is the next stop. I’ll stay on the train and get off there.
BLOKE: Do you work around there?
BLOKE: Where do you work? (I pretend I didnt hear that. This one don pass inquisition for a stranger you just met on a train platform)
BLOKE: Are your relatives here in London?
ME: I mumble a YES.
BLOKE: I thought you said your relatives arent here in London. (What has this got to do with the price of rice?)
ME:No, most of them are in Naija but I live in North London with my husband.
BLOKE: You’re joking!
NO: I’m not. See!! (I show him my my engagement ring and wedding band with glee)
BLOKE: Wearing rings dosent matter some girls wear them just to camoflauge.
ME: Well, I’m not camoflauging, I’m married.
BLOKE: Where did you get married? Here or in Naija?
ME: In my heart I'm like - does it really matter? I reply: Here.
BLOKE: How long have you been married?
ME: Three Years (No need telling him I'm a new bride. Does it matter how long I've been married? I'm married. End Of!)
BLOKE: Where do you work?
ME: I’m thinking in my heart this is an inquisition too much for someone you have just bumped into at a railway station!! Why do you ask? What’s that got to do with you?
BLOKE: Can I have ur number? Brings out his mobile - a Nokia Camera Phone.
ME: I give him a fake number. He starts to dial the number I've given him so his Caller ID will reflect on mine & I quickly tell him that my mobile isn’t with me. Its at home.
BLOKE: Ok. Take my number: 07984649287 – 'Segun', 'Prince Segun'.
BLOKE: You have the kind of Physique I like.
ME: Excuse Me? What do you mean? Are you collecting girls’ physique to use in cooking soup or something?
BLOKE: NO I mean I like ur physique – Its very nice. You never know where the relationship will go.
ME: Excuse Me? There will not be any relationship that’s going anywhere. (My mobile rings)
BLOKE: I thought you said you didn’t have ur mobile with you?
I move away to answer my call and the train pulls into the station. BLOKE motions for me to join him in the next carriage and I purposefully ignore him and move to another carriage.
The Randy Idiot!! Physique Ko, Physique Ni. He really has no morals. I think its just me being too polite to tell such idiots to buzz off or be plain rude to them. Propositioning ladies up and down trying to pick up anything in skirts wherever he can - Married or Single anything goes. If he’s not careful, a wife, scorned girlfriend or maybe an angry husband may perform a ‘BOBBITT’ on him putting an end to his randy overtures since he does not really care whether they come married or not. I have heard some rumours that London Guys prefer their ladies married – that way, there’ll be no strings attached to the relationship. So ‘Prince Segun’ - You've been Named and Shamed!!!